How do I help my partner get excited about lovemaking?


Of utmost importance is “no pressure.” This means several things from both parties. If you are the more excited lover then “no pressure” means that you don’t use guilt or shame to get sex, you cannot demand sex or use coercion. These tactics will only drive those feelings of desire further underground. As the less interested party “no pressure’ involves not forcing yourself to participate unwillingly. It means that there are no self-induced “shoulds” where you should make love simply because you feel obligated.

Make sure that you are consistently connecting emotionally with your partner. Make your relationship a fun and loving place to be. Treat them with love, respect and kindness.

Each person is unique and it is important to know your lover. Pay attention to what turns them on or excites them. Learning what helps your partner feel in the mood is key. Remember that variety adds spice to life, if you do the same thing often enough it will become boring and routine.

Innocent non-sexual, sensual actions such as loving touches, hugs, kisses, or compliments just because you love each other can heighten arousal levels.